Jia Xiaoming is a professor at the School of Humanities and Social Sciences of Beijing Institute of Technology, director of the Institute of Applied Psychology, member of the Clinical and Advisory Committee of the Chinese Psychological Association, and the first registered supervisor of the Chinese Psychological Association.
In this era, the ultimate goal of reading this behavior seems to be work. I buried my head in the book for nearly two decades, in order to find a good job. However, many high-profile students who are highly educated in the talent market are constantly complaining – why can’t we find a good job? !
We have misunderstandings about “good work”
”Youth Psychology”: On the Tianya Forum, a netizen broke the news of his own job search. He used the words “Unbearable to look back”: “I graduated in 2006, I thought it would not be too difficult to find a job. Eight (8,000 yuan) and the double index of the residence to stay in Beijing. Who would have expected, for three months, but only found a job for a civil enterprise clerk, the income is very unstable. Doing it for two months, I I resigned and went home to review. The idea at the time was that after the doctoral degree, the salary would definitely be higher and he could stay in college, which is more stable.
In 2007, he successfully passed the doctoral degree, but he did not expect that when he graduated in 2009, he encountered a high-year drought in doctoral employment. The university’s retention indicators are super-speaking, and the doctor’s salary has plummeted because of the economic crisis. After desperately working with the doctors of more than twenty prestigious universities, I finally entered a state-owned enterprise, but I had to start from the bottom. When the class reunion, I found that my classmates who graduated from undergraduate six years ago were higher than my monthly salary. ”
There are still many similar complaints, and people seem to find that the more highly educated people find it difficult to find a good job. Why is this?
Jia Xiaoming: There is a question first here: What is good work? According to this person’s standard, it is obvious that the civil enterprise staff is not good at work. I think if you do an investigation, probably most people think so. In the fields of copywriting, marketing, and service, college students do not bother to do it. It is not a good job for them.
Why are these jobs not good? These jobs don’t cost too much physical effort, work time is more flexible, you can stagger the morning and evening peaks to work, aren’t these all good? Because of their low threshold, everyone can do it, so people with high academic qualifications feel that it is not good.
Looking back at some of the good jobs in the eyes of some people: high salary stability, do not have to eat too much bitter, the work environment is also comfortable and decent. This is the definition of good work, and of course it also represents the value orientation of our time. Just look through a few nets in a few magazines. What do you think of the people you admire? They are all IT elites and stock market bulls. Their greatest characteristics are their young age and high value. They are very capable, but there are a few people out there. The most important thing is that agreeing with them does not mean denying other people, nor does it mean that other jobs are not good.
Of course, there is still a problem here: the “good” of good work is not only reflected in the salary, but also whether the job is decent. Everyone likes the IT elite, but if someone says that they are farmers entrepreneurs and start selling socks, then everyone seems to be less respectful: Yeah, are you the big king of socks? ! Even if it is worth hundreds of millions of dollars, the sock king is better to do computer and software development. In other words, we have long divided the industry into three or six in the subconscious. Some inferiority in national culture influences us to find work, and these influences are subtle and ingrained. This is a terrible thing.
”Youth Psychology”: The good job we want is actually to make ourselves look like a face job, not to consider whether it suits us.
Jia Xiaoming: The protagonist in this case said that the civil enterprise clerk is not satisfied with him and does not meet his master’s status. But if he is asked to send the courier, he will definitely not go, preferring to be a salesman. Although the salesman’s income is unstable, he will choose this because it is better to run the business than to do the express delivery.
But I also want to say, why not send a courier? It’s just as young and healthy, riding a bicycle and exercising. If you have the ability to do it with your heart, you will be able to send it better than others. You can slowly become a courier company and be your own boss. Why not? As long as you can support yourself and make yourself better, this is not a good job.
Therefore, we always say that employment is difficult. College students complain that they can’t find a good job. This actually hides many layers of meaning, hiding our unrealistic positioning and expectations for ourselves and society. Some people have already earned a lot of money, but they are still embarrassed to tell people what they are doing. why? I feel embarrassed. Asking again is not an unfair industry. This is actually because we have a misunderstanding of the profession. This is a psychological set.
”Youth Psychology”: In fact, what we mean by “good work” and “bad work” is to project some of our professional fantasies, not how the job really works.
Jia Xiaoming: Yes. We always feel that the psychological gap between finding a job is large, which is related to the influence of the social environment, and also to our own concept – do you have a position on yourself? In the professional orientation, how do you feel about your value? Do you think that it is valuable to support yourself through your own labor? Is it worthwhile to have a decent and high-paying job that is highly respected by society? If it is the latter, then the scope of your employment is getting narrower and narrower, and the psychological pressure is definitely getting bigger and bigger.
”Good work” is in line with self-positioning
”Youth Psychology”: As you mentioned earlier, our definition of good work is in fact consistent with our own value orientation. Can you explain it in detail?
Jia Xiaoming: For different people, the work of “good” is definitely different. The so-called value orientation is to say, what kind of person do you want to be? In fact, this is a very old and difficult problem. To find an answer, you may need a stage to explore and grow.
For my own sake, starting in my twenties, my goal is to be a good teacher. This goal has never changed. In my opinion, this is the most valuable. Of course, there are some additional things to this goal, such as to what extent is the teacher? Student recognition is definitely one, and the title is also one aspect. However, these are all positioned around the teacher.
”Youth Psychology”: But if you switch to the young people now, they may say that when the teacher is not enough, you must be the principal.
Jia Xiaoming: I don’t think so. Did I be a teacher for a lifetime, did it fail to be a principal? My self-positioning is a teacher, so I have never been able to compete for some leadership positions. It is not my life pursuit, so it has nothing to do with me. This may be the reason many people are confused. They don’t really figure out what they want, or they figure it out, and then they are stunned in the face of real temptation.
Of course, I don’t deny that when leaders have the benefits of being leaders, you must know that you have to work hard. People’s pursuits are different. Some people like to take time to socialize and deal with various matters, but I like to have time to give lectures to students and social welfare activities with them. I choose to make my happy things, this kind of work is a good job for me.
”Youth Psychology”: So, one of the reasons why we can’t find a good job is that we only pursue social admiration, but we don’t know what can make ourselves really happy.
Jia Xiaoming: I don’t object to everyone going to be the principal. This is good. This is his choice. However, it is absolutely impossible for any kind of work to be as long as it has a bright and beautiful side without being subjected to corresponding hardships. I have a student who is very interesting. He feels that when the university teacher is very decent, the work is very stable, etc. Before I decide to take the postgraduate examination, I ask the university teacher about the work situation, so that he can help him decide whether to continue to graduate school until the doctor, or do something else. After we finished talking, he said, “I am not a university teacher.” He said that he did not expect the university teacher to be so busy, there are so many things, there are so many pressures, and the income is not high. For me, being a teacher is a pleasure because I do what I like, and I don’t feel much about the pressures of high demands and high demands, or I can still handle them. But if it is not this kind of mentality, I would probably think that being a university teacher is not necessarily a good choice.
I often say that primary school students write “My Dreams”. Eighty or ninety percent of them are written by scientists, writers, and the People’s Liberation Army. This is actually a relatively bad education. In fact, what the scientist is, he simply does not know. How do scientists live, how long they have to go through their research, how hard they work, and he doesn’t know. But our education only exaggerates the glory of this work, hiding other more real parts. Going back to the question of “Socks are not as good as IT elites”, in fact, this is the root of the work, such as the three and six, and the most deadly psychological shackles.
”Youth Psychology”: There is one more point here, that is, many people think that after graduating from college, they can certainly do relatively high-end work, so they do not care about the basic work.
Jia Xiaoming: This involves an assessment of self-ability. As I said earlier, the IT elite is only a minority, and you must recognize the limitations of your personal abilities. A good job is not to let you play to the level of others, but to play out your own potential.
In fact, the ability includes many aspects. I especially want to emphasize one point here, that is, personality – character determines fate.
You will find that many people have perseverance, can endure loneliness, and have worked hard. The success rate of such a person may be high. But some people just can’t stand waiting, like quick-start, then entrepreneurship may not be suitable for him, but this is also a character, but also suitable for his work.
But there is such a problem in it: For example, you have some people who are relatively extroverted, enthusiastic and energetic, and always willing to study new things. They are more flexible and can endure uncertainty. This is also a very important personality trait. In contrast, some people do things step by step, organized, but a bit obedient. This kind of character does a lot of things, such as some regular work, but it also brings a big flaw, that is, creativity may not be enough, lack of flexibility. In fact, China is now a society of great change, and every day there is something new. It may be more painful for people who are obedient, and people who are flexible and versatile will feel more like a duck. For the latter, they feel that there are more opportunities to find a job that suits them.
In fact, there is nothing wrong with it. It is good to find a job that suits you. But where is the problem? Many people look at people’s good, not to do the work of others. In particular, the current social esteem may be more flexible work, and another character will ask for change, but they can’t do it themselves, so they are suffering.
”Youth Psychology”: Many people are not advocating to change themselves and surpass themselves? Maybe this is an opportunity to change yourself through work?
Jia Xiaoming: It is true that many people now advocate to transcend themselves, transcend the environment, and change certain defects in personality. I think the understanding of going beyond everyone may be different. I feel that to exert my potential is to transcend, not to have something that others have, and to change beyond to achieve the same as others.
Youth Psychology: Do you think that personality cannot be changed?
Jia Xiaoming: It can change, but it cannot be completely changed. Why do you say that? Because personality is a part of personality, the biggest characteristic of personality is that it has certain stability. I can’t say that I can’t change anything. For example, a person with a more introverted personality, you usually play with him, he will become a little more cheerful. But even then, he is still a lot worse than the one who was born to be particularly cheerful and humorous. In other words, very few people can jump directly from one character to another.
But many of us now think that the other extreme is good, we must conquer ourselves and the environment, and to what extent it is ideal. This is a stumbling block for myself, because you have spent a lot of energy to repair the adult family, and you have neglected and lost your own things. You are still particularly unhappy, and your heart is struggling, and energy is consumed by self-denial and self-confrontation.
Therefore, everyone should think about this problem when looking for a job, which is what kind of personality you are, what kind of work you are suitable for, and what kind of work can make use of your strengths. Rather than others saying that this work is good, society is praising this job, you have to do it. This goes back to how much you know about yourself, how much you are determined, and whether you can be responsible and responsible for yourself.