I rarely mention her emotional experience to others, because that is her life, although I do not agree. Life is life, everyone has the right to live the life they want to have been, even if others do not understand. But the world is big, a lot of people, most of the time do not need other people to understand. They want to be able to persist through life people, it seems to me this is like a bleak society true warrior, with unknown action to defend their own little spiritual territory, others do not come into their own can not get out.
Small seven is such a maverick deal with feelings of a woman.
Probably because she read so much about the feelings of the literature, since ancient times, from the inside out. Tragic, she felt love really looks like; successful, she felt the book was only some way; talk money love she felt tacky, speaking spiritual love she felt illusory. I saw so much love mode, after all, is waiting for her one after another untold sadness.
During this period I suddenly remembered Ailing, a bit like a small seven of her fate. Met a man Hulan Cheng although not as melodramatic, but can not say that single-minded. I saw so many love stories, analysis to explain people’s emotional experience like most of a textbook, but eventually see through their own life.
Xiao Qi Zhang Ailing no talent, she also frown Zhang attitude towards money, in the eyes of seven small, love is the most important, money are clouds.
Therefore, there is a bum like a man, stole her money and ran.
To this end depressed small seven months, these months, she repeatedly wondered why this man would choose to steal and not to cheat, steal money on the level of this behavior too low, and if the deception, but also at least reflect each other’s wisdom. However, seven small feelings can not lie to myself, she clearly felt the other side to be sincere own care. Small seven can not figure out is that he is not a difficult opening to help themselves, but to steal it? Perhaps before this time, he also stole her countless times, but it was not found. This last time it was found, because he stole too tight, and he put a small seven took all the money, wallet a minute left, but too much is on the party that night, he put a small seven friends all stole a pass.
Before the truth, a small seven very possible to steal money to prove it is not the slightest relationship with this man, from analysis to demonstrate, she argued. Although her heart is disturbed, she just with his dying heart to do it, because not long ago, a small seven purse money has inexplicable less than once. Small seven understand that this thing is he did, just like in the last pitiful dignity for themselves and then argue about.
Until the moment of truth, for all eyes to see a small seven all contain deep compassion, deep compassion, a small seven in everyone’s eyes, every cell infiltrate the breath. Later, a small seven put a table and invite friends to come to the day of the victim to apologize. I clearly remember the day a small seven drunk, trance seemed to her a scene familiar, like in a book seen, which was about the ugliest side of human nature, is it not so? In Tuibeihuanzhan gap in the smoke-filled room, she clearly felt something was slowly descended ……
After a few months, a small seven began to lively up. She began to read life generation one pair of people, struggle to teach two ecstasy; she began to read ten Pinghu frost sky, black hair begins to worry Hua years; ten red makeup quietly feel their love, over and over again would like to expect to have a heart, white The first phase from the ……
This time, she met a man like the sun in March, nice, gentle, knowledgeable and courteous. Get along like a breeze, like the warm sun, like Lin Huiyin speak Rhapsody as the sum of all the good things of the world, a small seven smiling Huazhiluanchan Chunxindangyang. She would love him to read, will read poetry, will understand her feelings. She really loves him, even more than their love.
So that later, a small seven silent acceptance of the fact that he had a wife, he had a son, a 3-year-old boy.
I love a person is to be low to the dust, very, very low, and from the dust out of flowers, while the heart is joy. Just as the Hulan Cheng Zhang Ailing received married, small seven also accepted the fact that his own small three. However, she looked so much better, no way to make themselves struggling to survive in the cracks.
Small seven spiritual world, once again collapsed.
It’s just two small seven emotional experience in microcosm, she pursued for over a decade, to defend more than a decade in the emotional world, never give in, never compromise on their own always thought of the correct concept of love, along the way at age 30 is almost full, the still was not any conclusion.
Sometimes she actually think, is not so much hurt the feelings of her work, she never let down to earth to live, or because read so many books, so many to understand the truth of life, and have actually had a bad in this life?
I think small seven old Eileen Chang, the old think of her monologue to feelings. Eighteen Springs says Zhang Ailing in this world there will always be a person waiting for you, whether sooner or later, he would be there for you, waiting for you to be born with. Small seven year read here, and believed.
30 years old, I wanted a small seven, she should not look at Eileen Chang’s book, and do not want to look Nalanxingde word, a too sad, too sad a. Do not want to see Lin Huiyin, she was too successful. But I do not want to see Lama, Laoyanfenfei, heartless world.
I think small seven, or look at something not about their love of the book club, Aspect dreams, hopes Aspect, Aspect better. But she wanted to look up the year Notre Dame, see Oliver Twist, even later to see near White Night are lingering in her mind.
She simply throw these books, watched movies. I remember after watching her very happy, very happy, although temporary, but very real, it is a niche film, called Kikujiro summer.
Then how about a small seven? She was still in front of the third, waiting for the other divorce marry her? Small seven will re-find a new love object to it? Or no longer believe that any small seven love, choose lonely had a full life?
Her story continues, even a small seven do not know where life will push her to, what kind of person to let her meet, but one thing is true, I am sure, she is indeed a little reading she will take the time to read along with the children, she went to the orphanage with the children to play together, went to the nursing home to accompany the elderly to speak, she was no longer looking forward to love, no longer watch lover, she’s happy.
By the way, in fact, I was a small seven, the story is not finished ……