I believe that many people are aware of such a phenomenon: whether it is for themselves, or for people around, anxiety this feeling seems to have become a “regular” life.
An occasional anxiety is a normal thing, because anxiety as part of the emotional mechanism, there is a huge “survival value”, it and fear from the same physiological mechanism, the purpose of self-protection: whenever the brain found potential Threatened, it will be through the release of a called “cortisol” neurotransmitters to let us produce anxiety or fear, in order to cause our vigilance, prompting us to take action, get rid of the threat.
But why, in this increasingly prosperous and prosperous era, anxiety has become a universal psychological state? This is because the brain is not as we imagined so smart that it can not distinguish between “life-threatening stress” and “bothering stress” in life, and now the pace of development is too fast, too much information, and too complicated Social relations make the brain often mistakenly think that they are in the “dangerous”, and thus continue to issue “alert signal”. It can be said that most of the anxiety in our lives is only a transitional response to the brain.
In fact, if we can understand the source of their anxiety and know how to make self-adjustment in a timely manner, then we can make this anxiety to get a good remedy. The following is my theory and experience, summed up the different types of anxiety and different mitigation strategies:
1 Anxiety type: peer pressure
Regardless of recognition or not, we will intentionally or unintentionally take their own comparison with others. When we are still small, there is not too strong self-consciousness, the parents will from time to time to use the so-called “other people’s children” to “inspire” us; in school, test rank is another “others” to “Motivate” our way. These means are effective because it does fit the human mind. In the student age, the achievement is to take us and “others” to compare the important criteria, into the community, the standard has become income, jobs, cars and houses.
“Comparison” is actually the biggest source of anxiety in our lives: we see people around to buy a house, buy a car, get married, do not have any time they will be anxious; see people around the income far more than their own time will Anxiety; see the overwhelming kind of “from the month into five thousand to fifty thousand dollars” when the article will be more anxious. And the development of social media and let us see too much do not need to see the “other people’s lives.”
The best way to deal with this anxiety is to distinguish what is “someone else’s life” and what is “your own life”. We need to realize that there is a great difference between people, these differences include background, ability, pursuit, action, understanding of happiness, expectations of life, and family status, etc., which means that others want To have, is not necessarily what we want to have; and others feel happy things, not necessarily let us happy. So, we should try to avoid too much attention to “other people’s life”, but need to think about what is really want to own, can bring their own happy things (not social or other people want us to), and then The energy into their own pursuit.
2 Anxiety type: “crash” anxiety
“Anxious” is the existence of this utilitarian society, a common mentality. This kind of anxiety is manifested in the fact that many people are reluctant to work hard and do not see the value of the process, but only want to get the results quickly through a shortcut, for which they look at the various public numbers every day and seek the so-called quick method.
However, in my opinion, all the skills or knowledge that can be quickly gained can not be a person’s core competencies because you can get it quickly and others can get it at the same speed or faster. The real advantage must come from long-term adherence and temper, and only when you are like the original, rather than in order to quickly achieve a goal to do this thing, can really sink to learn.
Want to get rid of this “quick” anxiety, we must first give up the “quick” idea, to know the true ability is not fast, in addition, we also refused to see those with “successful learning” taste of the article, Because that article is only to attract the eye and write, self-promotion is meaningless, but also in the value of a misleading. On the contrary, no matter what we want to learn, it is best to sink, from the most basic system of learning, step by step down to earth, learn to enjoy this constantly enrich the process of self.
3 Anxiety Type: Delayed
Anxiousness caused by procrastination is also a general type of anxiety. The delay will make people feel anxious because there is a conflict between the goal and the behavior: we know that we want something, but because of laziness and reluctant to start. But in fact, once the action began, we will find that this sense of anxiety will immediately disappear.
Against this kind of anxiety is actually very simple, is to start action! Which had to return to the topic of self-discipline again. Self-discipline really is not too much emphasis, because it is too important for a person’s happiness. I still think that the best way to cultivate self-discipline is to start early. This needless to say, we have heard too much reason, if not action, no matter how much the reason is useless. So, as soon as today began to act!
4 Anxiety Type: No Time
“Time is not enough” is also I often hear an anxiety. But in fact, most people do not spend too much time because they do not have enough time, but on unnecessary things. For this type of anxiety, the most sensible strategy is “minimalism”. The core of minimalism is to understand which is the most important, and then decisively to those who do not matter, as Lin Yutang said that “in addition to things to do the noble art, there are not things done The wisdom of life lies in the abandonment of those who do not matter.
For how to start a minimalist life, my suggestion is to start with the establishment of living space and the establishment of the order of life: those who do not need all the items are handled, to keep the living space clean and orderly, and then began to regular work and rest Time, the establishment of good habits. Life should have enough “blank”, so that the environment can make people relax.
After finishing the living space, you can start thinking about people and things in life. For these things, I have a secret, that is, facing any task and invitation, my default answer is “no”. To change this decision, I have to find enough reason to convince myself, why do this thing, or participate in this event. This will be able to make sure that I only put the time into the most worthwhile things.
5 Anxiety type: habitual anxiety
What is habitual anxiety? In the words of popular, it is blind worry. There is a saying: “You are worried about those bad things, 90% will not happen.” Indeed, many times, our anxiety and pain is actually something that does not exist, it is only their own imagination, or some of their own can not control and change things.
The best way to get rid of this habitual anxiety is to strengthen self-awareness through meditation. Meditation, in the US health care system, has been listed as a treatment, and many experimental studies have shown that meditation in the relief of anxiety and stress has a very significant effect, its treatment is no less than drugs.
Now many people know the benefits of meditation, but also want to start obvious, but confused and I do not know how to start. In fact, meditation is not some people think that “do not want anything”, its key is to train self-awareness. To know that we are controlled by our own ideas, because we lack awareness. If we can be aware of when a negative idea arises, then this perception gives us the right to choose: we can choose to continue to think in this negative way, but also with a more positive idea To replace it. Negative thoughts are eliminated, because the anxiety caused by this idea will naturally disappear.
Look at how anxiety engulfs your life
/ 01 /
During the Spring Festival study in India, in order to allow themselves to have a quiet learning space, before I pay special attention to the company’s management, the company’s own things to deal with, do not find me. Unfortunately, during the study or received a colleague of the company’s phone, she was very nervous, to tell the event, had to call me for help. Originally, we hosted the “anti-fragile” 12th Practical Psychology Congress had invited Wu Xiaobo teacher as a guest speaker, but he was temporary, no way to attend our meeting.
But the propaganda of the General Assembly has been fully rolled out, and tickets have all been sold, and some people are running Wu Xiaobo, how to do? Such as Wu Xiaobo such a public celebrity, we would have signed a variety of legal agreements dare to do publicity, and really did not think like his celebrity will be Shuang about, this is really a major event, our company has done two decades of activities, so The matter is still the first time to happen, the colleagues responsible for the meeting do not know how to do? So into a deep anxiety, eat well, sleep well, tossing and turning, sleep at night.
Change, is the only law of the world the same! Especially the pace of life faster and faster today, we face more and more changes in the face of some sudden changes, people will inevitably fall into anxiety, anxiety in the mood. Anxiety affects our sleep, it will reduce people’s immunity, a direct impact on people’s health, but also seriously reduce the quality of life of modern people. What should we do in the face of anxiety?
/ 02 /
Remember that a company had planned a campaign called “Escape from the North, Upper, Wide, Deep” activities, get a lot of young people’s positive response, so many people have left the metropolis, to the countryside. But how long has it gone? Like just finished the Spring Festival, I believe that many of my friends have this feeling, back to the countryside, live very natural, very easy, can be finished from the countryside back to work in the city, the whole people will start tense, feeling Covered with pressure. Now people, can only return to the countryside to live? Living in the city, in the face of fast-paced, high-tech, is it really no way to enjoy our lives?
Especially in recent years, the city’s people are worried about the shrouded, prophet Kevin Kelly said that the next 80% of the work will be replaced by the machine, the rapid updating of new technology, so that people have a crisis of the future sense. Science and technology was originally for human services, but at the same time, science and technology has become a crisis of people’s lives. How to enjoy the scientific and technological achievements, not the threat of science and technology? This is a subject that we have to face. In the rhythm of the increasingly fast today, how do we return from anxiety to life?
To answer this question, we must first distinguish between “fear” and “anxiety” these two different emotions. Those who have not studied psychology, often confuse the two concepts, sort out these two concepts, we can easily come out from the anxiety.
/ 03 /
“Fear” is a kind of human and biological mental activity, is a people facing a dangerous situation, trying to get rid of and unable to do so by the fear of a strong repressed emotional experience. Fear, that is what we usually say “fear”.
“Anxious” is the basic human emotion developed by mankind in the struggle against the environment and the survival of the environment. It is an emotional reaction to the potential challenge or threat to reality. It is a person who faces an uncontrollable event Or the general reaction at the scene. In general, moderate anxiety, has a positive meaning, it can fully mobilize the skills of the body organs, moderately improve the brain’s response speed and alertness. But long or excessive anxiety can have an impact on people’s health and quality of life.
Anxiety is the reaction that mankind develops in order to survive. In order to obtain better chance of survival, mankind is anxious to fully mobilize the body function to cope with the changes in the environment. But today the people living in the metropolis, not every day will be threatened by survival, and the brain will be some wrong to determine the survival of the threat, so that the body is in a long-term vigilance, this state will seriously consume the body’s energy, How can we live when we are in such a state of existence?
Fear is a response to the present threat, and anxiety is a possible threat to the future. When we can identify the difference between “fear” and “anxiety”, we know how to deal with these two emotions.
/ 04 /
First of all, we have to know that fear is nothing wrong. Many times will hear people say, if I do not fear just fine. Even we have some vulgar words like “Oh, you are a coward”, it seems bad is not good. In fact, these are the fear of the emotional misunderstanding or misleading, fear is its inherent function, if there is no fear, we humans may be less likely to survive.
For example, we see the snake, fear, will be afraid, so they will escape, in order to ensure that life is not threatened. For example, we see the explosion, will fear, so they will escape, in order to save our survival opportunities. So, the threat to the moment if you do not fear, such as the face of the tiger you do not fear, but also to close to it, then I am afraid that only a dead end. So, we have to learn to accept fear, and even thank the fear. Because fear will protect our survival, fear is a natural response to the current threat, when the threat is lifted, the fear will naturally disappear, fear will not bother our lives.
And “anxiety” is different, anxiety is the future of what happened to the threat of foresight, which is a brain to imagine the fear. The future has not come, so anxiety will always exist, has been consuming the energy of our lives. When we are anxious, all the focus is on a possible loss, may be threatened, all negative focus inside, we do not have enough energy to think about the solution to the future. So, when the anxiety consumption of our energy, we have no energy to solve the problem, the future will really be a threat.
It is human anxiety in order to get a better chance of survival, and fully mobilize the body function to a brain response mechanism in response to changes in the environment but the excessive reaction mechanism, but it plays an opposite role, prematurely wasted energy of life, when life threat really comes, is unable to cope with. This is the paradox of anxiety. When we are aware of this, when we feel anxious, we focus our attention on the present moment and ask ourselves, what should we do now in the face of possible threats to the future? What can I do now to reduce the possible loss in the future? So you focus on the back of the solution, not the energy wasted on unnecessary worry.
Back at the beginning of this paper, the case, when I heard the phone panic colleagues in India, feel that she was at the height of the anxiety, for Wu Xiaobo is unable to attend the conference, I feel very anxious, the only difference is, I can feel my anxiety, when I am clearly aware of it. I took a deep breath, I asked myself: Wu Xiaobo doesn’t come, what can I do now? Who can replace Wu Xiaobo? And then I thought of a series of solutions, put aside is the course of study, began to contact several alternative candidates, when sent out messages and emails, my heart soon settle down, put this thing back to my classroom.
The second day early in the morning, we have continued to receive a variety of responses, and finally determine the teacher asked Zhang Defen to the rescue, and then notify the company colleagues to notify ticket customers, to customers sincerely apologize for not accepting change customers immediately start the refund, the start of a new round of publicity at the same time, back to the market open ticket refund, to compensate for the losses. The whole process was carried out in an orderly manner, and finally, although the general assembly has been a certain impact, but still successfully held successfully, and received a large number of participants.
When we are caught up in anxiety, we are controlled by anxiety. When we can see is not what happens to anxiety and fear, we will return to the current solution, a back to the present, there will be many solutions, then to find the solution, we began to calm down, so, life began to live in the moment, no longer worried. This is the solution to anxiety.
The future that most of us are worried about now is not necessarily true. Eighty percent of them, or even more than ninety percent, are created by our brains. If we can be aware of this point, to worry about the future back to the present moment, to find some solutions to it, we will be indifferent, calm to deal with our life, even living in a big city with a noisy, can also go to enjoy the moment like natural and relaxed life in the countryside environment, enjoy life.
If people jump out of fear and anxiety about the future, our family will be happier and the world will be more peaceful. If you live in fear of the future, people will be in a state of life, full of crisis. So, life can start with your anxiety.