Anxiety of identity is a concern that we are in danger of being inconsistent with the socially set success models and thus being deprived of dignity. The destructive power of this fear is enough to destroy our lives.
Identity and identity anxiety
Being noticed by others, being cared for by others, and receiving the sympathy, praise, and support of others is the embodiment of the value we want to get from all actions.
Identity anxiety is a concern about your position in the world. Whether we are smooth sailing, step by step, or struggling, the rivers and rivers are difficult to get rid of such troubles. Why is the anxiety of identity making us sleepy? The reason is very simple. The level of identity determines the warmth and warmth of the people: when we are pacing, others smile and face each other; once they are swept out, they will be cool. As a result, each of us is afraid of losing our status, especially when we realize that others do not like or respect us, it is difficult to maintain confidence in ourselves. Therefore, only the signs that the outside world respects us can help us get a good feeling for ourselves.
We often refer to the socially esteemed person as the “big man” and the other pole corresponding to it as the “little person.” These two kinds of labels are actually ridiculous, because since people exist as individuals, they must have corresponding identities and corresponding living rights. But the message conveyed by such a label is obvious: we treat people who are in different social positions differently. Those with low identities are not concerned – we can treat them rudely, ignore their feelings, and even treat them as nothing.
The attention of others to us is so important. In essence, human judgment of one’s own value has an inherent uncertainty – our understanding of ourselves depends largely on what others think of us. Maybe: In an ideal world, we may be stronger, we will stick to our bottom line, whether or not others care about us, and will not worry about other people’s ideas. But the system is so terrible. It allows you to unconsciously follow certain established norms, accept the criteria that most people voluntarily or involuntarily recognize, and incorporate your thinking into the scope of certain people called elites. Within the program. We are all affected and at the same time affect others. We are obsessed with success, longing for wealth, and looking forward to being valued. We are educated from childhood and educate our next generation to do No.1 in a group.
Expectation and anxiety
The most unbearable thing in the world is probably that our closest friend is better than our successful BLOG of www.92wenzhai.com.
We are fortunate to live in such a superior era: wealth has increased rapidly, technology has grown by leaps and bounds, consumer goods are extremely rich, and life expectancy has been greatly extended. As people living in this era, we can say without fear that we are at the best time in history.
But we also unfortunately live in such an anxious era: we are more and more concerned about our own importance, achievements and income, and the lingering and increasingly strong sense of nothingness is always bothering us. This is also the worst era ever, and the ancestors who are looking forward to God to give a good harvest are even stronger than the fathers of the 1980s.
In this era, the pressure of survival itself no longer exists, so we began to compare our own achievements with those we believe to be the same level, and the anxiety of identity has arisen.
The core of anxiety comes from cockroaches, and cockroaches themselves are wonderful. We will not marry every person who is superior to us. An ordinary soldier is not as embarrassed to his general as a squad leader. A good writer will not be embarrassed by a mediocre little literati.
They also rarely try to humiliate themselves with the success of Bill Gates. We will only compare with those who are “the same level” as us. In the era before the reform and opening up, this kind of awkwardness was not so strong. In a strict and fixed social order,
Most people’s own identity is fixed so that they will only compare with a small group of people around them. But social progress has broken this inherent order. Along with the improvement of material life, there is a new ideal – everyone is convinced that life is equal, and everyone is convinced that they have enough strength to achieve any of their ideals.
However, reality is always cruel. We should always remember a formula: self-esteem two actual achievements / expectations of oneself. It tells us two strategies to improve self-esteem: first, strive to achieve more achievements; second, reduce expectations for yourself. Regrettably, today’s society does not encourage people to lower their expectations. On the contrary, the social vane is always urging us to pursue careers that the older generations cannot do or possess things they cannot imagine. So we began to believe that we have the same chance of success as everyone else. When we maximize the object of comparison, our expectations of ourselves are also infinitely expanding, and our sense of self-esteem begins to decline.
We are born in the best of times, with unlimited opportunities and possibilities. There are no longer the shackles of hereditary and bloodlines. Those who are willing to work will always pay off. We are born in a cruel era, this era is ruthless, only competition, no sympathy for the losers. Money has become an indicator of a talent.
This is an era of worshipping elites, and everyone is required to be a leader in a certain field. However, there are only a few of the best, so as the majority of us, we can only look at the backs of others and feel the shame caused by the gap.
No one likes this comparison, but everyone is unknowingly comparing people and being compared. We have no choice because this society is like this, and we are in it.
Each of us is anxious, most people are anxious about wealth and status, while the rich are anxious about political identity, and officials are nothing after anxious 59 years old.
Undoubtedly, the desire for identity and status, like other human desires, has a positive effect: to motivate potential, to perfect human power, to prevent harmful acts of deviant, and to enhance the cohesiveness generated by the common values of society. As those insomnia patients who have succeeded in their careers have traditionally emphasized, only anxious people can succeed. But acknowledging the value of anxiety does not prevent us from questioning it at the same time. We are eager to get status and wealth, but once we get what we want, our lives may get worse. Many of our desires are always unrelated to our real needs. Too much attention to what others think of us, so that we can destroy the best time in a short life. If we can’t stop worrying, we will worry about the wrong amount of time in life, which is the most distressing thing.