Last night, I watched the third season of the American TV series ” Black Mirror” against the background of a society in which all social life will be included in the scoring system. The heroine works hard and starts to fake smile and socialize at 7 o’clock every day in order to improve her score. The goal of a woman’s life is to associate with people with high scores and become one with high scores.
I have made that mistake before. A few years ago, I was introduced to a powerful media man. I know he likes Carver. I spent several nights reading Carver’s short stories and poems to get to know his life.
When we met, I suddenly brought the topic to Carver. I said I liked his ” minimalist” writing style. I remember he just ” hehe” and did not take my words.
Now that I think about it, he must think I’m very funny, trying to please him is too obvious.
Just like in ” Black Mirror”, after the heroine failed to please a person with high scores, her friend said to her, ” You have overexerted yourself. People with high scores have never seen anything and saw through your attempt at first sight. ”
Later, I added his WeChat and desperately wanted to make some friendship with him. I also wanted to show off how I knew this big man without showing off. Once I saw him send a circle of friends in the hospital for transfusion in the early morning. I happened to have a fever and left a message with great feeling: ” Sometimes, once the body produces diseases, the diseases of personality will also follow. If your behavior is decadent, your character will also be decadent. People’s health and morality are sometimes problems of resistance. ” This is what Kawabata Yasunari said. I think he should understand such a culture. As a result, he replied, ” Are you?”
I also suddenly realized the fact: how can looking up at such people help my life? He will not come and tell me to take more care of myself when I am ill. He will not accompany me to drink when I am in a bad mood. He will not stand up for me when I am bullied.
Is this the friend I want? Is it just for that poor vanity? Can he bring me some warmth? Since then, I have lost interest in making friends with big shots.
There is also a main story line in ” Black Mirror” this season. The female principal acts as a bridesmaid for her childhood playmate, but they also want to use each other to improve their performance at the wedding.
This is not vanity among friends.
I think the vanity among friends should be that you are good to him, he is good to you, and you want to show off this friendship to the whole world.
I think I have such a friend, Brother Bao, who reads the name of Ceng Zhiwei in Sweet Honey. He will tell me when I am lovelorn, silly woman, the streets are full of men, which one do you like, I’ll help you tie it up.
When I first came to Beijing, he asked his friends to lend me a sofa to live in and he would come all the way from Yan jiao to ask me how I was finding a job and take me to eat roast duck. Before he left, he would also take the initiative to give me some money, saying that a girl’s family should be more kind to himself.
In fact, we don’t know each other very well, and we don’t keep up with the latest developments. He doesn’t even know how many jobs I have changed, and I don’t know at what stage he and his girlfriend have been dating. But I am sure that he has accompanied me through countless dull days and is a good friend I want to proudly mention to others. I also supported him when he was depressed and frustrated. We are good partners in life.
This is much happier and more reassuring than adding 100 so-called big shots to WeChat. Who doesn’t need peers in the storm?
Seeing many people complaining that their circle is not good and their friends are not good, I really want to ask him, how do you measure the good and bad of friends?
Money? Status? Use value?
Or is it your intention?