I don’t know if you feel that after work, the daily life is a bit boring, eating, sleeping, working, no new friends, too lazy to contact old friends, the days go faster, the circle is narrower and narrower. I don’t want to worry about my family when I encounter something. I don’t know who to talk to in the address book.
Are there fewer friends after adulthood? Why are the friends who have played well in the past have very few contacts? Let us explain to you how to have friends who are still in the heart after adulthood.
Why are adults in the world difficult to have friends with?
1. Movement and relocation make friendship difficult
Nowadays, unlike the past, most people live in the same place all their lives, and they are in contact with the same group of people. With the development of the economy, mobile and relocation have become more and more convenient and frequent, so that many people have moved several places in just one childhood and changed several schools. Frequent relocations make us tired of making friends, and we are lazy to maintain friends who know each other by chance. The distance away from geography causes a reduction in common topics, and the psychological distance is alienated.
2. People mistakenly believe that friendship does not need to operate
More and more people in modern society realize that good love needs to be managed, so people will find ways to improve their relationship with their partners. They will spend a lot of energy and time to think about what to do next appointment, and where to go next trip. However, I accidentally forgot that my friend is not the kind of existence that will always wait for you to “suddenly think of Ta” in the same place. Friendship is the same as love, and it needs to be deliberately maintained and managed to “preserve”.
3. Adults are more difficult to make friends themselves.
If childhood friendship is out of emotion, appreciation and play with each other; friendship after growing up will be affected by interest factors such as resource replacement. At the same time, with the growth of age and the richness of social experience, we will become more difficult to trust others, and thus less willing to reveal their true heart. Under such premise, the difficulty and threshold of “making friends” has become higher than before.
So how can we get a friendship? This matter should be considered in two ways:
Become friends with people who are familiar with them, and maintain and deepen existing friendships.
How to build friendship with people around you?
1. Actively “launch” and respond to friendly signals
You can send a friendly signal to the people around you. A smile, a conversation, an initiative-sponsored conversation, and a small request are all opportunities for you to connect with others. When you feel the signals from people around you, remember to respond positively. If you often turn a blind eye to this kind of good signal, your relationship will be difficult to get rid of the nod. At the same time, observe those who often send you friendly signals or respond to your goodwill. They may be those who want to be friends with you.
2. Expand the occasion of meeting
Most of the acquaintances we think co-produced and seem to be able to develop into friends are those we meet on the same fixed occasion every day, for example, students with common interests, colleagues with similar smiles, and coffee shops frequented by tourists. Boss… In this case, the first thing you need to do is to take the initiative to meet outside the occasion where you have to meet. Simply put, you are making an offer to the other party.
This will not only enhance mutual understanding, but also give you the opportunity to take the first step from “acquaintances” to “friends”. It is also a good test to see if you are really suitable to be friends, if you are In the process of getting along alone, the topic can never be deepened, then you have to find the reason and think about it.
3. Take the initiative to open your heart
Another key element in the true beginning of friendship is the exchange of personal information. Usually this is the case; when you keep meeting frequently, one party will risk exposing personal information first, and “test” whether the other party will respond accordingly. If both parties are willing to self-expose, the door to friendship will be Naturally opened up.
If you want to make a real friend, the process of opening your heart is not as fast as possible, and the depth and speed need to be moderate. On the way to becoming an acquaintance with an acquaintance, you should gradually expose private information. If you share too much, you may scare away each other or make the other person feel at a loss.
How to maintain and deepen friendship?
1. Proactively contact friends
This step seems simple, but not many people actually can do it. Many people who don’t often contact friends who are not around or rarely meet are caught in two misunderstandings: First, no matter how long a true good friend doesn’t contact, it won’t break our relationship. Second, Ta doesn’t find it. I, then I don’t look for Ta.
But in fact, you don’t need to think about it so much, you don’t need to give yourself so many unpredictable presets before you do it. You just need to do it. As for the reason for contacting a friend, it can be as simple as “I have eaten your favorite food before” and attach a photo. What you need to remember is that you don’t have to rack your brains to find a seemingly sound reason for contacting a friend who has never talked about it.
2. Develop commonalities between you
Psychologists point out that the more points of association between two people, the more likely they are to have an intersection, so the connection between them will be deeper. And this point of association can be a common friend, a hobby, an occasion to meet, and so on.
Adding or rebuilding the commonality between you and your friends, creating an opportunity for the further development of your relationship, and this is not difficult. There is only one simple requirement, that is, you are willing to pay attention to each other’s life, and at the same time you can share your life occasionally. Ta sees.
3. Add a sense of ritual to friendship
The sense of ritual is especially important for love, but the deepening and maintenance of friendship also requires some sense of ritual. Meet once a month, every time you send a Ta gift on the other party’s birthday, about a ball every other time, and a souvenir brought back to the other party… These small rituals that are interspersed in daily life and become habits , can let you put more of the other party and this friendship.
Finally, I hope that in this bustling world, you will be able to get two or three confidants to join hands.