After graduating from the School of Finance and Economics, Xiao Xin went to work in a bank and lived like a water. At the age of 28, Xiao Xin had the urge to change jobs for the first time. At that time, Xiao Huang, a member of the same department, went to a small bank to become a middle-level leader. What colleagues talked about after dinner was how good the treatment of Xiao Huang was. Xiaoxin was very unconvinced when she heard these words: If I had the chance, I would definitely do better.
After half a year, the opportunity really came. A bank set up a branch in the local area to recruit people. A former leader of Xiaoxin extended an olive branch to her and offered a generous treatment. It sounded better than Xiao Huang’s position. Xiaoxin was moved.
Xiaoxin met several times with the relevant person in charge there. The other party appreciated her very much and placed great expectations. But what is puzzling is that Xiaoxin finally gave up this long-awaited opportunity and still stayed in the original post.
Have you ever had an experience like Xiaoxin? Everyone is afraid of failure and eager for success. This seems to be the unchanging truth. But you can know that, in fact, everyone’s heart, fear of failure, and vague fear of growth and success. Just like Xiaoxin, when faced with the chance of success, she chose to give up and escape. This is the “Jonah complex” proposed by the famous humanistic psychologist Maslow.
Jonah is a character in the Bible? Old Testament. He is a devout Christian and has always been eager to get God’s dispatch. God finally gave him a glorious mission to declare a pardon of a city that was supposed to be destroyed by crimes, Nineveh. Jonah resisted this task and ran away. He constantly avoided the god of his faith. The power of God looked for him everywhere, awakened him, disciplined him, and even let a big fish swallow him. In the end, after repeated and hesitant, he finally repented and completed his mission. “Jonah” refers to those who are eager to grow and fear to grow because of certain internal factors. And this fear in the face of success is the “Jonah complex.” It reflects a “fear of its own greatness”, an emotional state that causes us to dare not do what we could have done well, or even evade our potential.
There is a kind of conflict in the heart of the “Jonah complex”, and it is this conflict that hinders his pursuit of success and growth. These internal conflicts can sometimes be realized by us, but most of the time, it is suppressed in the unconscious.
”Jonah complex” performance
The “Jonah complex” is a psychological phenomenon that is universal in human beings. We want to be successful, but when we face success, we are always accompanied by psychological confusion; we are confident, but at the same time inferior; we respect the outstanding people, but always have a hostility; we admire the people who ultimately succeed. And for those who are successful, there is another kind of anxiety, anxiety, confusion, and jealousy; we not only avoid our own lows, but also avoid our own peaks. “Jonah Complex” develops to the extreme, that is, “self-destruction complex”, that is, when faced with good things such as honor, success or happiness, there is always the idea that “I don’t deserve”, “I can’t stand it”, and ultimately, success. The opportunity passed by.
The basic characteristics of the “Jonah Complex” can be divided into two aspects: on one hand, on oneself, and on the other hand, on others. For yourself, it is characterized by: escaping growth and refusing to undertake a great mission; for others, its characteristics are: blaming others for their excellence and success, and gloating for the misfortunes of others.
The reason for the “Jonah complex”
Most of us have a deep “Jonah complex” in our hearts. Psychologists analyzed that this may be because when we were young, due to the limitations and immaturity of our own conditions, in the face of various things, it is easy to produce negative thoughts such as “I can’t do it” and “I can’t do it”. If the environment does not provide enough security and opportunities for us to grow up, these thoughts will continue to accompany us as we grow up. Especially when the chances of success come, these psychological manifestations are particularly obvious. Because success also means challenges. Seizing the chances of success means working hard, facing many unforeseen changes, and taking risks that can lead to failure.
Each of us actually has many opportunities for success, such as attending school speech contests, running for the president of the student union, challenging a difficult job… but in the face of opportunities, most people choose to escape. The reason for this is that a large part of the reason lies in the social environment in which people live.
Human behavior is determined by psychology, and psychological activities are affected by the surrounding environment. In many countries’ cultures, especially collectivist cultures, modesty is a virtue. Everyone likes “low-key” speech and behavior, hates and even hosts people who like to “sing high-profile”. The so-called “shooting the head of the bird”, “the height is not cold.” Therefore, for the sake of security, people often wear a “modest” cloak to hide their true personality and ideas, and to cater to the popular views and behaviors in society. This also gave up the highest possibility of growing up, lost the edge, and eventually became a mediocre person. In the face of ubiquitous social forces, only a few people dare to break the balance, recognize and overcome their own “Jonah complex”, take the responsibility and pressure, and finally seize the opportunity and succeed.
How to overcome the “Jonah complex”
Overcoming the “Jonah complex” is a complex psychological problem and a social issue. First of all, we must clearly understand our inner condition and recognize our own “Jonah complex.” In the face of the pressure that you are unwilling to bear or dare not bear, you should listen carefully to your inner voice and tell yourself that “you can do it”, accumulate confidence and energy for yourself, overcome fear, and finally show your true self. “Go your own way and let others say it!”
Overcoming the fear of growth also requires us to recognize and accept our limitations. Even if it fails, we are equally valuable. As long as we do our best, we have the highest potential, and for ourselves, we are growing up and moving towards self-realization.
In addition, we must also realize that growth is our own business. We cannot wait for others to discover us. We have the responsibility to show ourselves and have the responsibility to strive for a better development space for ourselves.
”Jonah complex”, to put it bluntly, is not afraid to challenge his highest peak. But if we force ourselves to climb the highest peak, we will one day discover that all the things we have feared will be stepped on by us!