Dennis Diderot is a famous French philosopher in the 18th century. One day, a friend gave him a noble wine red robe. He likes to die because he has never received such a gift, and he has never used his nightwear at home. But he took a shower some night, comfortably put a beautiful new nightgown on his body, and suddenly found that his body dress was completely unworthy with the decoration of the whole house, and it felt completely wrong. The carpet, curtains and even the sheets were also laid. Too rough and too shabby, completely worthy of the luxurious new robe.
So, in order to be worthy of this nightgown, Diderot looked around and replaced all the old things in the house, spending a lot of money, and finally made the color and configuration of the whole room keep up with the grade and style of the nightgown. When he felt comfortable, he finally got it. When he looked around in his chair, he suddenly realized that I was forced to be forced by a nightgown!
The Diderot effect was later applied in economics, pointing out that people who have a new item will continue to configure their corresponding items to achieve a psychological balance. In fact, isn’t this true?
We fall in love with people who have different habits, levels and styles, like the one that we suddenly got. In order to let the other party integrate into their own lives, in order to remove the sense of incompatibility, we will constantly change the other configurations in the environment in order to match this lover. In order to cooperate with her, you will change your previous eating habits, even the clothes you wear are different from the previous ones; in order to let her feel at ease to your home for the night, you bought a lot of pink sheets curtains that she likes, your bedside and The car is full of dolls, your phone cord becomes her favorite cartoon character; in order to have a common topic with your boyfriend, you try to remember the name of each team and player, you finally get those who seem to be the same The name of the Ironclad Superman, paying attention to financial news, although not willing, but can not help but turn over those video magazines, computer information and car publications; even to make the other party comfortable, re-learning to drive, or even moving … just to make you this new lover Corresponding to the surrounding environment, in the final analysis, it is also to make everyone feel comfortable and achieve a psychological balance.
However, whenever the love period is over, or the relationship is over, the person is gone, there is only one room that suddenly feels strange things, you may suddenly wake up: Why are we so stupid, changed so much, sacrificed so much, Just for the person at the beginning?
Socrates’s disciple, Mr. Yan, went to the world’s most complete and up-and-coming market to go shopping. After returning from the bottom of his life, the disciples asked their feelings and asked him what he bought. He was empty-handed and said, “My biggest achievement in this trip is not to know that there is something in this world that I don’t need at all.”
In our love, there are actually many things that we don’t really need, but we spend too much time and effort to chase. The more we stack, the more we are not, the more we lose. In the end, we will forget the original intention. Only got a bunch of unwanted substances, but lost love.